N. L. East Crystal Ball….Posted: March 31, 2010 Filed under: Dailies | Tags: Atlanta, babes, ball girls, Braves, chicks, Florida, girls, Homer, hooters, hot chicks, Marlins, mascots, Mermaids, Mets, Mr Met, Nationals, Nats, New York, Phanatic, Philadelphia, phillies, pimp, Tomahawks, Washington 14 Comments
As the National League East is the division the Phillies are in, I have decided to review the NL East a little differently than I did the other divisions, but not much differently.
Anyone with any sort of technical savvy should be aware, that all major league websites are controlled and sourced through a centralized system, which is why they basically have the same layout and the same MLB news items, there are areas which are specific to the actual clubs feeds, but still the look and feel of each website is similar to the extent that if you find something on one about that club, you should be able to find the same thing on another clubs site about that particular club. Well if you’re still following this thought then the rest should make some sense.
I decided to review specific things that may be of interest to one fan or another and I looked at the same on each website, this is how it turned out.
The Washington Nationals will without question be at the bottom of the division again this year, even though they have a player that if utilized could be a contender for the 2010 ROY award, that would be Ian Desmond. Anyway I digress, the Nats website…
…is headlined “Get Your RED On” What the hell does that mean? I looked RED up on google, bing even yahoo, but couldn’t find anything that remotely related to visiting the Washington Nationals and cheering them on, is this just more inaccurate promotional work coming out of Washington. I hunted for the Nats mascot and any ballgirls or cheerleaders or similar and found this, a mascot called ‘Screech‘ which looked a lot like ‘Swoop’ in a Nats uniform, which was kind of ironic since they were also advertising the Eagles this summer, just in case anyone is confused, that’s the band Eagles not the NFL team they are promoting. I couldn’t find any ball girls, softball team, cheerleaders or anything like that on the Nationals website which probably means they are all working as interns somewhere in DC.
The Florida Marlins, will try very hard this year, but will only manage to be good enough to finish 4th in this division, the Marlins website however…
…claimed ‘Serious Fun’ and invited people to ‘Get In On It’, okay I have to ask, “get in on what?”, then I found the Mermaids and realized what the fun was and what they wanted you to get in on, so no need to google, bing or yahoo anything. I did try to find out what the entry requirements were to be a Mermaid, cause it looked at first glance that they had just got together a group of Hooters employees, but I found that you can actually hire these Mermaids for private functions, and there’s me thinking that would be classed as pimping and be illegal, but I guess Miami-Dade anything goes especially when you have trouble voting on issues.
…continues to tell everyone how wonderful Turner Field is, even though it hasn’t been that way for a number of years now. There was some good news though I found out that the Braves have a mascot called ‘Homer’ so i looked around for the big yellow headed dude with the pot belly eating donuts, but alas all I found was what looked like a poorly cloned ‘Mr Met’. The good news was they actually appear to have some hot chicks still living in Atlanta, I am not sure being a member of something called the ‘Tomahawk Team’ is going to inspire a future mate to actually close their eyes and fall asleep with one of them in the same building never mind room.
The New York Mets if everyone is healthy, especially Reyes who needs to stays off the sauce, or whatever he’s been on, should make a vast change from last year, still it won’t be enough to win the division. The Mets website though maybe even worse than the Nats…
….there is lots of invites for you to spend money, they promote a belief in comebacks, obviously they have Mr. Met, but he was hard to find and I had to surf via pages telling me I can join this or that for a nominal fee. It seems to be all about Citi Field, which is fine since they spent a bundle of money on it, but it seems there are no hot chicks left in New York that like the Mets, or at least I couldn’t find anything on the website.
The Philadelphia Phillies this year will go back to the big stage, after winning the division and the repeating for the 3rd time as N L Champs. Of course like any other prediction it’s based on the players being healthy, except for the Phillies where it’s based on Lidge being on the DL all season long. The Phillies website…
…Okay so I am more comfortable with the Phillies website and can find things easily, there is no tacky slogan, although the Phillies do use a couple in commercials, the mascot is easily found, which as you can see, I caught him making sure there was space for the 2010 trophy. Anyone that’s seen a game in Philadelphia at the Bank or even prior at the Vet, will know the Phillies have ball girls, who are on hand for every home game and I understand are all fairly well accomplished softball players, sit near one if you can they are also at times very good conversationalists. So to sum
up the NL East without a biased view, the Phillies have the best looking ball girls, best looking website and the best chance to win the division again.
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No…no hot chicks on our website. I know. It’s very Wilponian. The Wilpons couldn’t score in a woman’s prison sporting a carton of Newport cigarettes under their arms….and you want chicks on the web site? C’mon!
Mike – I know terrible huh, chicks on a baseball website…
Dude, the website/gift idea themes were a stroke of effing genius! As for the Mets lack-of-hottie sitch, perhaps there’s just a shortage of hot Met fans (time to recruit Alyssa Milano) And that pic of your Phillie Ballgirls makes ’em look like a female prison chain-gang…which, I suppose, is pretty hot from a role-playing perspective.
Jonestein – Alyssa Milano is spoken for by the Dodgers, but I did hear she’s willing to sell out to the highest bidder if their charming enough… 🙂
A very unique perspective on season predictions, Peter. Never thought of reviewing a team by looking at its web site. LOL.
Jane – unique maybe, or a stroke of boredom or maybe just the unexpected…. but what else would one expect to find here….
Have to agree with the predictions; amd I have been to Miami a number of times…they will do just about ANYTHING to get people to the games. They have photo sessions every week with the mascot and a player; Sat. night free concerts, male dancers (seriously….LARGE dudes shaking it on the field)….I would not put prostitution past them at this point.
Jenn – I heard that, between Florida doing anything and New York prepared to pay for anything, I am surprised somewhere in between has any say in the outcome of these things….
I still don’t think the Mets have it in them to make a comeback this year. The team I’m worried about this year is the Braves. But if the Phils stay healthy (already a couple of strikes there, with Lidge and Romero not ready for the start of the season, and now Blanton hurt) I still like their chances to repeat in the division.
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts
Sue – Now its just the 1st of April no time to have any concerns except will the cooler be cold enough for the beer this summer…. and I am sure you’ll see more than enough here … my preference is for Lidge to stay on the DL… I think I was being generous to the Mets maybe I felt sorry for them who knows…how I’ll belittle them as the season goes on..:-)
Um… how many mermaids can I have?
Jeff – As many as your visa will allow, cause I don’t this is one of those priceless places.
Get your Red on is terrible. The centralized MLB.com web format should have a feature that doesn’t allow tag lines like that.
hfh – You would think that MLB could censor some of the stupidity that club promotions bring us….